Irreverently Reverent?

Yeah, I know, that title is about as nonsensical as cautiously optimistic. Yet this was the only way I could fathom to describe my current religious state. I guess I could say I'm cautiously reverent or irreverently cautious or even irreverently optimistic. But really irreverently reverent fits the best. After years and years of attending church services in a multitude of denominations (Baptist, Church of God, Catholic, Episcopalian, Wesleyen and Nazarene to name a few),and yawning my way to the end of most sermons, I have come to the conclusion that there has got to be a better way to worship. No, I don't mean singing the same line of some brain dead chorus over and over again while standing, clapping and looking pious. I consider myself a Christian and I have a firm belief in God, but I don't have a firm belief in any church that makes a person sign on the dotted line and ask for permission from other church members to join. Do I need someone else's permission to worship God? No. Plus, I've never been very good at the seriously reverent act that seems to be required to be a part of the church body. I've never been able to do loud protestations of faith or even to lift my hands over my head and sway with religious fervor. Yet, I know that I am saved. I have daily talks with God. I guess that all adds up to make me irreverently reverent.